Confussed..........

I am so confused. I went for rad treatment and now he is treating lymph but he is treating the ones up above my breast close to my neck too. The other Dr said he wouldn't treat this area. But my concern is that since my one lymph was letting the cancer out of the capsule then we should treat it. My oncologist said he would probably treat it because cancer from the breast can travel up to those lymph nodes but he said let the rad Drs help us decide.
So do I treat all of it and deal with damage to my throat and swelling of the arm and infections if I get cut or scratched along with the damage it does to muscles and lungs.
I just don't want it to come back later in life. But even though I go through all of this it could come back any ways. So what to do. I pray that God will help us make the right chooses. I just want this to be gone and get on with my life.
I am trying to talk to people who have been through this and might be able to shine some light on this better for us.
******
Good news
My herceptin went great. No side effects and I feel great today. So it should be a breeze. I did get sleepy due to benadral but I ate taco and bean burrito on the way home. I can taste food and I am loving it. That was my Christmas wish and I got it. I thank God for letting me taste food again. I enjoyed sweets again.

Thrird day........

Well, the computers were down today so they were 30 min behind. They were going to send us home but computers came up. I got to go back around 9:15am. I asked to see dr. Jeff & I talk about the rad and we thought it would be best to get lymph nodes too. So I talked to Dr. He was iffy about it but said we would have to be careful with swelling of the arm and infections. I can't get any scratches on my left arm. It would get infected really bad. That would be better than taking a chance of it coming back later somewhere else and taking my life.

Any ways, I will be late tomorrow for hercept. due to readjusting the rad site. They are calling them and letting them know I will be 30 mins late. I'm just glad Jeff will be with me.

Second day of Rad......

I had my second treatment of radiation. So far no pain or redness. Doctor checked me out and said everything looked great. He did say that my skin looked thin. I might have to have fluid taken out of expander. I hope not but we will have to keep a close eye on it. If it starts filling tight then I will have too. I am so ready to be done with all of this.
My hair is trying to come back. It looks like an old mans head. With the peach fuzz on top and ring of hair on the bottom. I am just glad it's coming back. I can't wait to have it back.


Thanks to everyone who makes me smile cause that helps more than anything. It great to have friends and family to make me laugh.

Radiation begins....

Well, I went last week and this Wed. to get marked for radiation. I have three big x marks one under each arm and one on the breast. I have first treatment next Monday. It seems like an easy thing to do. I lay down on my back and hold on to some handles. They make shore I am centered on the machine. Then this huge thing will go over top and send radiation to that area.
I also go for first, Hercepton. I was going to get it last week but due to ice on the roads, we didn't make it. I go next Thursday.  I am very nervous about the Hercept. I am sure it will go well.

God has been Great!!! He has helped me through this. I have not had many side affects so far. I hope things continue to go well which I am sure they will. Thanks for all the prayers cause they really do help. Jeff and the kids are doing well.
Merry Christmas to everyone. May God bless everyone who reads my blog cause many of you have blessed me already. Thanks!!!
 God is the reason!!!!!!!!!!

Sad about Elizabeth Edwards.......

I heard the news this morning. She passed away yesterday. She was a strong women. Her life full of great challenges and yet she kept going. God be with her family.

Just because life isn't going great and bad things happen doesn't mean we have to quit. I want to quit sometimes but then I realize I must go on because their is so much left to do. I have my husband and my children and my family and my great friends. God has a plan for each of us and we must turn to him for everything. He will guide us in the right direction and help us get through any trail we must face. I am thankful for everything I am and for everything I have.

I want to pray for everyone who is facing cancer and for their families. May God be with them and help them get through it. I pray for all my love ones and that they know God is there for them in what ever they may be facing or will face soon. Amen.

Update

I am feeling great. I have redness and sore feet again. I have a rash on both arms and Dr has given me meds for it. My nails look like some may fall off. I have white or clear places on my nails which means it may not be connected to my skin underneath. I fear they will come off, but I am being careful and putting strengthener on them.
I still can't taste thing well yet but maybe soon.

After Thanksgiving......

My daughter and I made a great Thanksgiving lunch. She was such a great helper. We made a turkey, home made dressing, home made chocolate pies (2), devil eggs and potatoes salad. I enjoyed cooking. I spaced it out so I could sit and rest. I got hot and we opened up a window. I did get dizzy once. But over all it was great.
We had a great day. Jeff and our son cut and split wood while we cooked. 
I am so thankful for my husband, our daughter, our son, my friends, and my family. I am so thankful that I am getting my cancer treated and I am still moving forward with my treatments. I am thankful that I did well with chemo. I am so thankful for all the love and support everyone has given to me, cause I never knew so many people cared about me. 
I am so thankful for my husband who has done a great job of being here for me. It has been hard but we are making in through the hard times. Our love prevails through all things. 
Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

LAST CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that's it. I am done with chemo.I dose a little then once home I ate. I finally took a 1-2 hour nap. I went to bed around 9:30pm but couldn't sleep because belly was hurting. I finally did go to sleep about11. Then by 1am I was awake. Bladder was full. Then hot slashes, heart burn and belly hurting until about 5am. Then at 6am got up and got dressed. So not much sleep last night.

Today is shot day. Last one of those too.
Next step is Herceptin on Dec 16th then every three weeks. They said they would give me benydrel do to side effects.

Still have watery eyes, dry skin, hands peeling, finger tips sore, hands swell some, hot flashes and night sweats. Other than that things are good.


Just ready to go back to work cause I am bored and I broke my sewing machine. So now I can make nothing else. I had great plans for it too. I made a vest and purse. I was going to make other cool things but now that is on hold. I may try to sew by hand but finger tips may not let me do much.

I can do plastic canvas and maybe some knitting but have to do it in small intervals.


Well hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.
I am going to try to cook a lunch then go to his sister in laws' for supper. I hope I am up for it.

Update November 19th

Well I feel great. My skin is peeling off my hands in places. I am using some great lotions and stuff. My fingers tips are tender or sore like. I have some swelling in my hands. Eyes keep getting watery. Doc said to used eye drops and some kind of other stuff. I used eye drops but not really helping much.
Stomach is back to normal.
Well, I go Monday for last Chemo. We figured I would feel better on Thursday if we moved it up one day. Cause I always feel bad after shot. My bones hurt more last time. I took claritin but didn't seem to help much.
I go to radiation doc on Dec 15th. Then we can start rad. I will go Mon-Friday for 6 wks. Holidays and weather may delay me but total I will have to go 30 times.
I hope to get this done and get ready for reconstruction surgery. I will have to wait 6 wks after Rad do have it done. Can't wait to be done with all this. I want to have fun this summer and be able to do things.

Have a Great Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Day after shot

I am tired but feel good. Stomach messed up not from iron pills either. Same old stuff. I will survive. I added a photo. It was from my co-workers. They were wonderful. I miss them. The ribbon on the right is a cake.

Chemo #3 or 7 total

Well it went very well. Jeff made me laugh. I was telling the nurse about my feet trouble and she ask if I called them. I said no. She fussed so did Jeff. He picked at me about not calling them about stuff. I am not calling them every time I hurt somewhere. If it goes on too long or seems serous then I will call them.They have better things to do then to listen to my minor issues.
Doc said it was the chemo causes my ache and pains with nails and toes. As I already figured out.
Jeff told him how he disliked Metcalf. So he gave us a women GYN in knoxville. Susan something. I go to her next month.
*******************

GREAT NEWS: On the way home I got the call we were waiting on. My Gene test came back NEGATIVE. I don't carry the gene which means there is a great chance our kids want get cancer. They are still higher risk than normal people but not any higher. That does help but we still have to make sure at the age of 23 they get screened and make sure they get yearly check ups and stay on top of it. If they don't have insurance then Jeff and I will do what ever it takes to make sure they get checked. I never want them to go through this. I pray that others don't have to go through this.


**************

I slept off on on during chemo today. It was sad to see a young guy with throat or thyroid cancer today. We over heard him say he had a real bad sore throat and that led to them finding it. Jeff said he saw them give him RED DEVIL. Poor guy. He had to be late 20's early 30's. I pray he gets well.

An older lady had a reaction to her 7th chemo. The nurses were great and Foust came in and he was great. It was scary for us to watch. But she was OK. They stopped chemo immediately and hooked her up to heart monitor and had oxygen on hand. I pray she is doing better.

**********
Well, I am talkative. I slept alot once home then Up once kids got home. It was midnight before I could sleep again. Oh yeah, I been getting hot flashes like crazy. It feels like a heater kicked on inside my body then I pour the sweet. It last about 1-3 min. Then I'm fine again. Doc said he could put me on pills to help it but I said it wasn't that bad yet. So he said let's keep a watch on it and if it gets worse he can get me on meds. OK.

******

Stomache felt tight last night. I feel great this morning. Can't wait to be done. ONE MORE!!!! then herceptin for a year and pills for 5 yrs. Radiation for 6 wks. And then boob surgery after 6 wks rad wait 6 more weeks and get them fixed. YEAH!!!!!! I am glad it's getting closer to being done. It's been a trip which I hope never have to travel again.


My prayers go out to all of those going through this and their families. Don't forget the families. They have a lot of stress and worry on them. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband who I treasure more then he will ever know. He makes everyday better for me. My kids are just that kids. They do what they can for me. My friends well I have a few who are staying close in contact and they either leave comments here, email me, call me, or text me. They are great. I have few family members who call ever so often. Church friends check on regularly. I thank God for all of them.

Trouble with feet

My heals have been hurting for a few days now and my toes are sore. I am glad I don't have to stand on my feet because it would be worse. I soaked them in epsom salt which felt good but not sure it really helped. The tips of my fingers or fingernails are still sore too. I guess it's the chemo. My stomach is still messed up too. I stopped taking my iron pills Monday to see if I can get back to normal. I am trying to find foods high in iron to eat. I am going to look online for recipes with foods high in iron.

PS If you read my blog please leave a comment and let me know who's reading. Anyone can leave a comment. I really would love to hear from all of you. It would make my day to know that you are keeping up with how I am doing. Sometimes I think this is a waste of time. I hope that it can be helpful to someone some day. Thanks!!!!!!!

How I feel today

I feel ok. I'm sore, finger nails sensitive, head ache, tired and stomach messed up. I am just laying around doing nothing. I would be really great if my head would stop hurting. I guess I need to eat lunch too. I can't type much today due to finger tips. I am doing well.

Chemo #2 total 6 all together

We went to chemo and it went well. My Iron is very low even though I am taking two 365mg iron pills a day. I am still spotting which started Saturday. Monthly for 3 weeks now. No wonder my iron is so low.
Just a not: my nails hurt like on Friday after last chemo and were very touchy for three days. They are still a little sensitive to touch. Foust said that when my nails grow out longer that they may have lines were they stop and started to grow due to chemo. I just hope they don't fall off. I also have white spots on the side of my face due to cells in the skin (pigment) not growing very fast. Make-up covers it up pretty good so far. I just look weird from the side without make-up.
Jeff made me laugh this time. He kept saying "I can't wait til they give you your benadryl so I can have some peace and quite." I would gently hit him too. It was funny. I enjoy him joking around with me. I did get sleepy again. Once home I try to sleep but the bad storms and threats of tornado didn't help me get much rest.
Once it was bedtime, I wasn't sleepy any more. Jeff and I stayed up talking until about midnight. We even talk about how we both miss his mom. And how she would be taking care of us and worrying about us. I miss he dearly.
I ate well at supper time. I ate well this morning too.
I have only lost 5 pounds since I started chemo. I needed to lose that and some more. But I am maintaning my weight pretty good.
My stomach (intestine) gets very tight with this chemo. I can draw my intestine on my belly because I can fill it tighten up and fill each row. Very weird huh.
My hands and legs are dry so I have to keep them lotion up.
Well, I guess that covers chemo day.

I met an older lady who had one chemo treatment then couldn't due her second one due to low immune system. She had to take that "booster shot" as I call it five days. She said her bones hurt so bad. I told her about claritin to help with the aches and pains. She got to do her chemo today too. I was glad to see her come in to do her chemo. I hate to hear that someone can't get it done.

I thank God for being with me through all this. I thank God for my husband and kids. I thank God for all my great friends and family.
My friends have really been great. Thanks guys!!
Feel free to leave comments. I will read them through email first then post them. So please leave some comments. I love hearing from everyone.


Talk to u later!!
Have a great week!

Must try recipe:

I fixed a a new recipe last night and even though I can't taste things this was really great. The flavor was really good. I normally don't like alot of onions or peppers but this gave it great flavor. Jeff and our daughter loved it. I got it out of Taste of Home Southwest Oct.

Corn Bread Confetti Salad
1 pack(8-1/2 ounce) cornbread/muffin mix

2 cans(15 oz each) whole kernal corn, drained

2 cans(15 oz) pinto beans, rinsed & drained

1 can (15 oz) black beans

1 med green pepper, chopped


1 med red pepper, chopped

3 small tomatoes, chopped

1/2 cup chopped green onions

10 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled

2 cups (8 oz) shredded cheddar cheese

Dressing:
1 cup (8oz) sour cream
1 cup mayonnaise
1 envelope ranch salad dressing mix

1. Prepare corn bread as directed, cool and crumble
2. In large bowl, combine corn bread, beans, tomatoes, onions, peppers, bacon, cheese and corn.
3. In small bowl, combine sour cream, mayo, and ranch mix blend well. Just before serving pour dressing over the salad and toss.


My Note: I used one can on everything and omitted tomatoes (due to the fact it could make me sick germ thing you know) I only used about 4-5 pieces of bacon and fixed a small pan of corn bread and used 2-3 pieces. I wasn't sure they would like it so I put everything in individual bowls then combined a small amount of everything. I guessed at how much. It turned out great. Of course I can hear my mother-in-law; you have to fix it the way it says or what's the purpose of a recipe. I always told her that it's a starter and could be changed but she never really saw it that way. I still miss her dearly. She would have loved this recipe.


Hope someone else can enjoy this recipe. We loved it. The onions help give it flavor which is just what I need with my taste buds being screwed up.

Update on how I feel

Well, I am run down but still going strong. My monthly is going strong also Tuesday made 2 weeks. GYN said the stuff he took was benign (not cancer). He will do Ultra sound next Wed.
The things a person has to go through just to get better. I hate taking iron pills again. And they are causing problems so I take pills for that issue too. I want go in detail about all these issues cause it's gross and just too much info.

I am trying to get house work done this week while kids are home. They have done good getting rooms clean. I have made baby quilts for two of the classrooms at my (old) work place. I feel weird not saying my work. Well, I took it too them today and said hi to everyone. It was very uplifting to see them. I miss them. But being home is good too. I needed the rest exspecially with my issues.
I am trying to catch up on house chores and on some reading.
The kids and I went to library and we checked out some books.
All's good.

Great people around me

Well, start off with I am not working any more. It's best if I am not around sick children and they require a lot of energy. 
My husband has some really great people he works with who ask about me and pray for me and all of us. Even some of the people he sells parts too ask about me too. I can't believe how nice everyone has been.
My co-workers have been so great. They have been such a great support and help to me. They hated to see me leave but are staying in touch with me and want me to come back soon. 
Church friends have been great too.
You know people truly do care about us and are trying to help us. Some even say that they would help clean house, shop, take me to appointments, and so much more. It means a lot. I am very independent and would never ask for any help but if it gets to the point that I can't do things it great that I have friends and family to come and help my family.
My wonderful husband has been so great. He worries about me more than I realize. I try to let him know I am fine but he can tell when I'm not. I am so lucky to have him. The kids are doing great.

#1 Chemo Taxotere

Well, my first dose of taxotere went well. I didn't get sick or feel bad. I am tired as usual. The benadryl they put in my IV made me very sleepy. I dosed during treatment, on the way home and slept once home. I slept for three hours or so. They told me I could take claritin for three days to help with the booster shot I take 24 hrs later. It hasn't help me yet. Of course I got off brand.
I am anemic. My iron was very low this time. Maybe because of PMS for a wk and heavy. My ovals aren't going to sleep yet. Foust put me on some pills to stop it and wanted me to see a gyn. So I did. The gyn tried to clean out my cervix but could not get it done very well. Now I have to have an ultra sound of cervix to see if it's big or something could be wrong like tumors. Great news uhn.
Just a note make sure you get yearly paps, and checks with doctors to help stay on top of things.

Chemo #4 (AC)

Well, Doc says my counts are staying good but blood is low but not bad enough for blood transfusion. Said new 4 chemo should go better. I heard different. He said it could cause more dry skin and rashes. Still have tiredness but not so much nausea ( heard it could be worse but everyone is diff.).
Jeff and I had a few laughs and sit quietly today. I really didn't want to go today. I'm really sick of it already. I gag at the thought of it but I did it once again. Nothing really special happened.
I ate a great supper the night before. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I had toast and jelly that morning and we bought more milk after dropping of our son. When we got home I ate a small bowl of coco puffs which makes the milk taste better. Then we left to get our day going. Stop a yard sale but nothing worth buying. Got to office early and they were behind. O well we got it done.
Got home finally ate lunch about 3 or 3:30. Kids came home on the bus. Helped our son with leaf project just had to look a few up on internet. The local big park has trees mark with common and scientific names which is great but the ones we get at home we have to look up.
I was slow a sluggish and ready for bed tonight. I got up this morning @ 4 and could't go back to sleep. So when Jeff gots up @ 5:20 so did I. I'm drinking hot chocolate since it taste better than water and fixin to make toast.
More later. PS: I  greatly appreciate everyone replying, texting, calling and praying for me. It means alot to know you guys really care about how I am doing. Thanks! All my love to all of you.

Chemo #3

Well, 3rd chemo today. It went like always but I got a refresher on what I have to do next. I have to do one more chemo called Taxotere. It can cause different side effects. It can cause alot of serious things I want list because any chemo can have serious problems. The ones the nurse told me were more common where skin drying out and cracking, hair loss, and rashes. I have to be careful with it just like the AC chemo I'm taking now. I have to go every two wks for 4 treatments. If I can handle it if I can't then I will have to do it every 3 wks. Then when done with it I can start Herceptin. The ladies loved my hair(wig).
I am tired today. I took a nap. I ate toasted cheese sandwich with mayo. Husband stopped at store on way back and got me some peanut butter crackers to help calm my stomach and I was hungry. Now what to eat for supper? Soup maybe? My stomach isn't ready for anything but I make myself eat anyways. I am staying at 174 weight wise.
Until next time...Here's to 3 down and 4 to go. I'm still half way.

Hair issues...

I cut it off on Friday the 3rd. I couldn't deal with the clumps of hair coming out every time I brushed it. My son couldn't look at his bald momma for a few days. That Saturday my wonderful husband too me to Knoxville to Across the Creek on Carr Street to get a wig. They were nice ladies there and they really helped me out. I fell in love with three wigs but had to choose. My husband really like one more than the rest so that's the one I got. My kids help tell me what they liked too.
Everyone at work said it suited me. The color and the short hair cut. It's red of course but has black too. It's shorter in the back the long pieces in the front side. It's really pretty.
I been doing good. I had double fill up Friday big mistakes. It hurts and is very sore. I now have a soft ball for a boop. Really it's that size and that hard. I wish I could get the permanent implant but not until spring due to Rad.
I also have to eat well or get very weak and faint. I got that way Saturday. Scared all of us to death.
Well, today is chemo day so more later. I dread today but this is number 3. one more after this YEAH!!!

UPS & DOWNS of BC

Well, 2 down and 2 to go. I felt rough Thursday. My muscles ached and felt sore. My hair well .... It is coming out really fast now. I hate to brush my hair. Every time I brush it comes out full of hair. My hair is half gone as of Friday today. I am depressed but not real bad about it. I keep trying not to cry over my stupid hair. It will come back but the tears are getting harder to fight back. I want to be strong and live life as though nothing is wrong.
I am working and trying to take care of family. They have ate soups and sandwiches a couple of days and egos. I tried to make up for it on the days I feel better. I had to take nausea pill today.
People at work are trying to be supportive and are being really kind to me in so many ways. Even Husband's work people are being nice and praying for me too.
Everyone shouldn't worry about me. There are children and others out there worse off than me. My hope is that cures for cancer will help children and then the rest of us.
Thanks for all the prayers and wonderful things each of you have done for me.

Chemo#2the half way point

Well, second dose today. I feel pretty good I guess. We laughed again and the time past by pretty good. I got a felt hat from chemo basket they have theie. It's a red color like Alabama's football color (Jeff said it was).
Arrived @8:15am saw doctor @ 8:30am
I lost 1pound so that's good. He said I need flu shot mid Sept. then another one Jan. I also need phenomena shot too. Blood count looks good.
We went back to chemo room. Is was very slow today but when we left the chairs were almost full. So going early is less crowded. One lady has to stay 6 hours. WOW! poor lady. I am glad I don't stay that long. We left around 11:30-12 noon.
We went shopping for me a hat but no luck. The nurse told us about Across the Creek on Clinton hwy. So  maybe we can go there to look at wigs, hats, & scarves.
We went Krystal and got it to go because it was so busy with it being noon time. It tasted great! WOW! no metal taste today.
We got home and I was so sleepy I took a 2 hour nap and woke up 5min before kids got home. I can't believe I slept.
My stomach is feeling a little yucky right now I hope it stops but if not I guess I'll take a pill for it.
Last week I ate a lot of sweets to make up for the days I couldn't.
I am starting to shed a little more hair. So it begins.

After Chemo and shot

Well, the Neulasta shot wasn't too bad. It didn't make my bones hurt. I was tired the next day which was Thursday. But today I feel great. I had a head ache yesterday too. I still can't taste things like normal. Some things taste ok. I ate an ego with syrup tonight and it taste pretty good. Coke taste funny. So I drink water and ginger ale. I have been drinking 64 oz of water a day. I usually on drink 32 oz if that much.
I got double dose on my expander today. Since I haven't had one in 2 wks he doubled it. It feels tight but doesn't hurt yet. It's only been two hours. I hope it doesn't start to hurt.
I go Thursday to get blood work done to see how my white blood count is doing so far.
We are going to Knoxville tomorrow to look at wigs and get me one (Maybe).

1st-Chemo

Well, Jeff & I went to my first chemo treatment yesterday Aug. 17th. We got there about 9:50am and saw Foust first well after I had to have weight, temp, and b/p checked. And needle with tube hanging out put in too. Well, it did hurt. The nurse said "she would tell me before she stuck me and when she did I would need to take a deep breath and not move." She told and I did as she asked. She said sorry three times while sticking me with the needle. The second time she said it is when it really hurt bad not enough  to bring tears but very close. 
Doctor went over everything again. Then off to get first treatment.
We got to choose where to set and Jeff told me to pick. So, I picked over in the farthest corner. We watched a 10 min video, listen to nurse practitioner and to nurse about my treatments. I got hooked up to a clear fluid which contained steroid, anti-nausea and something else. Then they put the Cytoxan 1170 mg and it took 30 mins. Once that was done she came over with Adriamycin 117mg (red devil).  She had a shield over her face and gloves on to help protect her. This stuff can eat your skin if it sits still. As long as it is moving in blood stream it if OK. So she had 2 large syringes full of it and had to manually push it in my IV so if it leaked or I had reaction to it she could stop. While all this was going on and before. Jeff was making me laugh and keeping happy. He made me laugh until I cried. It was really cool. I told him tragedy happens and what do we do? Laugh! It was grand. We joked about me being nuclear and reddish kool-aid pee due to the red devil. The Nurse Prac. said that if Katrina happens or something like that to grab the book she gave me with all my info in it. Later on, Jeff said yeah leave the kids but grab that book.HA!HA!

At the end, the nurse asked some questions and before we left I got them to get Dr to get me a wig prescription. We left and went to grab a bit to eat. It had took about 2 hrs. to do actual treatment. We ate around 2pm or little before. We went to Burger King. Well, no one said things would taste funny. The Dr. Pepper taste like metal or tarter sauce. It was nasty. I tried 3 times but couldn't drink it. Jeff told me to go pour it out and get something else but try it before I complete fill it up. So went over and looked over all the chooses. I chose Sprite and it taste almost normal. The fries with ketchup taste funny and so did the chicken sandwich with no lettuce. But I ate one tomato oops.

We were able to get home by 3pm before kids got home. 

I felt great all afternoon and all night. My pupils were very tiny and I felt kinda weird or high. My eyes kinda of hurt like I had been reading too much. I had to take Tylenol this morning due to head ache. It hurt from my eyes all the way over the top to the bottom of my head like a ^ shape. You know. Hurt burn this morning so I am drinking ginger ale which really helps me. other than that it been great so far. I woke up at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep. nervous about this Neulasta which helps my immune system. It makes your bones ache. I go @1pm today.

Two appointment done in one day...

8:15 am: The Echo gram went well at RMC. I had to lay down on my left side, while she took the hand held gadget under my breast to see my heart. It's like an ultrasound. It looked cool. The picture was gray in color. I could see the valves open and close. I saw the walls of my heart move. Awesome. Then it showed red, blue and yellow colors. She put it on my side under my arm too. Then, I had to lay on my back while she checked toward the bottom of my left rib and then on my throat. I was done in about 30 min.

1:00 pm: Next appointment after lunch. We talk to radiation doctor Arwood. He really did explain everything well. 1. Cancer tumor was close to muscle. 2. Lymph node that was positive had issues. It should have had a barrier or hard like wall but it didn't. It had things going to the outside of it. This is not a good thing. These two things make me 50/50 for Rad. So, he really things it would be best to get radiation (Rad.). It could help me by about 5-10%. So, I guess it would be best to do this?????
Yeah, it would but God knows it really hard to keep listening to all these things I should do to get better. I just can wait til it's all done. I will survive!!!
OK. I have to call PS to get the OK to continue fill ups and maybe implant too. Rad Dr. said it shouldn't be a problem. I just have to get PS to approve.
After Chemo, I have to wait 6 weeks to start Rad. I would have treatments Monday-Friday (yes 5 days) for about 15 min. for 6 weeks.  Wow, that's alot ain't it. We or I would have to go to Oak Ridge each day. On top of that, I have that other treatment every 3 weeks for 12 months at the oncologist office in Oak Ridge too.

Got Port

Well, I got my port put in yesterday. I was at RMC hospital at 8:30 am and didn't leave until 2:00pm.
I got registered then went to a room on the 2nd floor. They check BP, temp, and put in IV. I had to pee in a cup to check if I was pregnant since my tubes aren't tied. Then we waited and waited. Jeff was with me. I worked on Sudoku and watched TV. The gown they gave me to wear was light purple my favorite shade. Of course, I thought she said to put it with  the front open and Jeff said no it opens in the back. He was right. Ha Ha! I finally got to got to back and He kissed good bye then went to waiting area. I went back and answered more questions. They put Oxygen on me and of coarse I had a surgery hat on my head. They put more blankets on due to it being freezing temperatures in that room. Then they put demoral and relaxing meds in IV. I wasn't get sleepy yet. Dr came in to sign papers and I ask him "are you well rested?" he said yes and kinda of shook his head. I finally got sleepy and next thing I know I am back in that room again. I thought I never left. I reached up and felt my port on my right side. They took an X-ray right there in the recovery room while I laid in bed. Cool!
I went back to the room and Jeff came in not far behind me. I felt fine. They ask me what I wanted to eat which wasn't much to choose from but I chose banana nut muffin and orange juice. I know what a combo. It was really good. Then once they got the X-ray report back I got to leave. Jeff & I went to get some Krystals cause we were both starved. It was 2:30 pm when we finally got to grab a bit to eat.
Got home and waited for kids to get off the school bus.
I couldn't sleep on my side because it hurt. So, I had to sleep on my back. I hate that too. I couldn't go to work because I can't drive for 24 hrs. Plus it might be hard to work with the little kids.
Tomorrow is the Eco gram of heart and then rad. doctor. Busy days!
Well, this is getting closer to being done. I have to keep focused on just one step at a time. I am holding up pretty good so far. I am nervous but not real bad. Our preacher and a man who has cancer came by and checked on me. Before they left we prayed together. It's great to have people praying for me and my family. We are all doing great so far.

More NEWS...

My oncologist called last night and said that the radiologist feels at my age and with it being 2 mm from the muscle, I should have radiation. So, He wanted me to get an appointment with one. He set one up for me. I go on the 12th. I really didn't want this to happen but I guess this will be another step in this journey.
I called PS and they called back. It would be best to stop getting expander filled and check with radiologist to see if I need to have some taken out. It should be safe to keep it in. I just have to wait to get it filled and to get implant. Next summer, I will get that part done (Hopefully). I go to GS tommorrow and set up time for port to be put in my shoulder. FUN!

Work has been fine so far but no kids yet.

Well, My new next step.

Well, I do have to do Chemo. Still don't know about radiation yet. Here I go trying to explain this.

I am Stage II (2). HER2/neu positive.ER/PR + estrogen/progesterone. These stimulate the cells to grow by hormones. Therefore, I can take a drug for 5 years to help prevent cancer. It is called Tamoxifen. I think he said there was another one I could take also but too much to take in at once.
I will take Chemo: Adriamycin and Cytoxan every 2 wks 4 times.
Then I will take Chemo: Herceptin every 3 wks for one year along with the Taxoxifen or some other hormone treatment pill for 5 yrs.
WOW! one year of chemo, who would have thought. He said it may take 2-4 hrs for chemo treatments maybe less.
He gave me some books and papers on every drug he will be giving to me plus a booklet on breast cancer. So, we can read over them and ask any questions or concerns. He said I would need an eco gram done so we have a base line on my heart. So I go Aug. 12th for that at the hospital. I need a port put in which will be used to give me the chemo treatments.
I go to GS (General Surgeon) next Thursday and  we will set up the time to get the port put in by him.
The lady at the front desk is a 20 year survivor and was nice enough to give me her number if I needed to talk to her or had any questions. I told her I was planning on doing the walk in Oct. She said to call her and she would go with me. I want to get everyone I can to come for that event. I hope I can get some more people to join my family on this Breast cancer walk.

Well, Work: I went back Wed. and told everyone. I got Family Medical Leave papers today. Of course she had to put in my job description too. How funny. I have to be able lift 40 pound and have 8 hrs of energy. I will do my job and go to my appointments. If they don't like it they can kiss my ---.

I will lose my hair. I hate this part but it's not the end of the world. Many women have been through worse. I wish no one had to go through this and maybe one day they want have to.
I am sad, angry, confused, and other things. I am also very happy that I will be cured one day!! I am looking forward to next summer. I am looking forward to helping my family in our everyday life. Cause we must gone on with our lives. Nothing is going to stop that. I love my family and all of us are learning important things about ourselves and growing. God will help us through all of this.

Finally Tube Gone!!!

Today, I got my drain tube out after 15 days. The nurse took it out. She said "on the count of 3 I will pull it out. one, two three" OUCH!!! "that's it" Great now it feels fine. Yeah it hurt kinda like a burning feeling but not really anything to cry about. I have prayed for a week that I could get this out and I did. Thank you God. I got my fill up today too. Can U say WOW? I did. I look almost normal now. The needle she used was very skinny and I didn't feel her stick in at all. Of course, the top of my breast is still numb like too. She had a very steady hand to hold that huge tube on the needle and slowly push the fluid in my expander(my Breast). It was a great day. That's one more step closer to being done. I am still moving forward and looking forward to the day I am completely done with treatments. (Well, I will forever have something done to make sure I am cancer free, but hopefully I want have to go through treatments or biopsies again.) God does listen and answer prays.

The NEWS about lymph nodes

Well, first I had trouble getting the pathology report to doctors. I finally called Park West Tuesday 20th. They said they would fax it to GS and Reg. doctor for me. My reg Doctor (Belitz) called me and broke the news. 
YES, broke it to me so gently. One out of eight had cancer. I cried when I got off the phone. Jeff came in while I was on the phone. So we cried together. 
I just couldn't believe it. I wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere and never come out. 
I took a breath and realized it's OK and it's not the end yet. I will grow old because I found this in time. I am not giving in to this cause I will make it.


OK.....Today I went to GS. He was able to explain everything. My tumor was 1 and 1/2cm. It was close to the muscle (the muscle on my ribs), wasn't in the muscles yet. (that's great news) It was in my nipple. When I had first biopsy, My nipple kept getting a stinging pain which brought tears to my eyes. Now I know why because it was apart of the tissue he was trying to get out. And my nipple was very sensitive and stayed folded downward. I hope that makes sense. Anyways, I will now go see oncologist next Thursday 28th.  GS believes I will need some thing more than just hormone treatment. Probably Chemo. Breath........


I get it. I really do. I must have this and I must be strong and not give up. I get that. I understand that God will help me on this ?????? Journey we will call this. This journey is here for a greater reason or purpose. My wonderful husband Jeff is going to church and is really showing how much he loves me. That is enough for me. But if more great things can happen then so be it. I want my family(everyone!) to know that I couldn't make it without God or them. I love my family even the ones that get on my nerves and push me to the limits. I even love the ones that don't love me any more. May God help those who don't care about me. I want everyone to be in heaven but I can't make them believe.

Sorry about that but I had to get that said. It makes me feel better to write these things out. I just hope someone can see that God makes all things better.

I will keep this up to date. I pray that God will help others not to have to go through this. I will do what I can to help support groups to help find cures for all of us Breast Cancer people(women &men).

After surgery

Now I home with the kids. I took pain pill first day home then no more. I sleep in the recliner with pillow under my arm for support. The drain tube isn't hard to do. I pour it out and milk it every time. Yes I can do it myself. My daughter helps put the dressing around the tube and gauze on cut. She helps me get shirt on. I do everything myself. Independent you know. My husband gets stuff for me and carries things to me. He makes sure I take med. He fixes my food and drinks. He is so sweet. He's afraid to hug me or touch me on my left side. Today was first time he touched my left arm. I am trying to tell him it's ok to huggs me and touch me. I tell him if it hurts. He doesn't like seeing me in pain. The kids have been fixin things for lunch and supper. My daughter has been doing great cooking. They both clean up the house. They kids ask if I need anything like every hour or more often. My family has called and checked on me. My sister is doing radation and is doing well. She called today.
The drain tube fluid isn't as red today. Which is really great and the amount is smaller than it was. I have to keep record of it. I go to PS Monday July 19 and I hope to get drain out. I go to GS Thursday July 22. I have to take daughter to dentist 21.
I hope I can go to work on the 28th.

Second step part 2

I was laying there trying to open my eyes. I rubbed my hands on my sides and felt the drain tube. I couldn't believe I was done with surgery. I kept trying to open my eyes. I finally saw a clock and time had past by me. Once I was good and awake they ask if I hurt. Yes I was hurting some. She gave me something in IV. I finally got to go to a room. I was in room 516. I wasn't in there no time when in come Jeff, my Mom, Mamaw, and two aunts came in the room . I was very sleepy and glad to be done. The nurse and cna were great that night. They brought me drinks and helped to bathroom. They were very nice and helpful. It was hard to move around because my chest on left side was very tight, heavy and burning at times. I had to ask for pain med a few times. They gave me liquid diet which was very nasty. I did have a pop sicle and jell-o. The broth soup was gross. I ask for real food. I finally got some mashed potatoes and meat which was really great. Then at 9 PM I ask for pizza but my nurse said "no" due to me having anesthesia. So I ask for a ham sandwich and chocolate pudding. It was great but the pudding didn't get there to later on that night. So I ask my husband to bring our candy bars up cause I needed chocolate now. He did and I ate one before they came back with the pudding.
I slept far that night. I got my husband up twice to go to bathroom. I hate having to wake him up but he wanted to help and I love having him help me out. My husband and I went for two walks in the hallways. I was tired of staying in the bed. It was nice.
Next day was good. I had to have pain med 2 times. My mom, mamaw and aunt came up so my husband could go home and get the kids. A breast cancer friend came by to see me. I had only talked to her on the phone so it was a reall treat to finally to get to see her. She is so sweet and helpful.
The kids came and were glad to see me. I was glad to get to see them too. They stayed until I got to go home late that night about 7:30pm. I was so ready. PS released me.
Our dog was so happy to see me. He never left my side.

Second step

July 12th The surgery is preformed. I had to be at Park West at 5:30 am. Once I went back to the surgery recovery room area, I had to put on the hospital gown. They checked my temp, BP, oxygen and urine for pregnancy test. one nurse tells me they might put a catheter in due to the surgery taking so long. Great, it would be done after I was asleep and taken out before I woke. On July 9 th I had to be here for blood work and paper work which took 45 min. Today we had to wait in the room for hour before everything got started. Finnally PS came to mark my left breast with black permant marker. They also put these leg massager things on both legs to help prevent blood clods. It felt nice but noisy. My GS finnally came in to see if I was marked amd he put his intials on it. My husband ask me if he could put his on me too. (that would be funny when they saw that..who is this). They came to get me. I kissed my husband. He said he would be waiting on me with tears in his eyes. I told him I would be fine. I love you!! we said. The nurse said she was putting something in my IV to help relax me. Thats' all Folks! I was out of it.

The beginning

My sister found out she had breast cancer at the age of 33 last year Aug. 2009. I found a lump but thought maybe it was my ribs because I have small breast. I went to doctor in Last part of May. I went for MMG on May 26. They found the lump on my left breast. So I had to go again to get a magnified MMG on left side. It doesn't really hurt to have these done just uncomfortable. My husband went with me on second MMG. He was upset because I hadn't said anything about lump. He had been trying to get blood pressure under control so I didn't want to say anything. I was hoping it wasn't one. I went to General surgeon in June 10th. Now the process starts. He believes it is cancer. He wants to do biopsy. June 14 biospy done at Harriman Hosp. June 17th Doctor tells us it is beast cancer. The lump is .7cm Invasive Ductual Carcinoma cancer. It is slow growing and doesn't seem to be anywhere else in my breast or lymph nodes but will take them out when we do the mastecomy. could cut it out but not much breast left and may not get all of it first time.